“When a Jew murders a Gentile (a Samaritan), there will be no death penalty. What a Jew steals from a Gentile he may keep.”
— Sanhedrin 57a

Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.
— John 8:44

“White folks was in the caves while we (blacks) was building empires. … We built pyramids before Donald Trump ever knew what architecture was. … We taught philosophy and astrology and mathematics before Socrates and them Greek homos ever got around to it.”
— Reverend Al Sharpton

seen on a sign…
If attacked by a group of clowns go for the juggler.

“There is an old Russian saying, ‘He who does not take risks, never drinks champagne.'”
«Тот, кто не рискует, никогда не пьет шампанское».
— Vladimir Putin

Abraham Lincoln loved telling jokes. He believed that a humorous story was often the best way of teaching something. This was a favorite joke he was known to have told his sons…

“How many legs would a dog have if you called its tail a leg?”
“Five!” his sons would answer.
“No, it would have only four,” Lincoln would reply. “Calling a tail a leg d…[Read more]

“Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows.”
— Winston Smith

“Remember, you wanted this.”
— Jack Reacher

from a time when humor was actually funny…
“The thing I don’t understand about the suicide person is the people who try to commit suicide, for some reason they don’t die, and that’s it. They stop trying. Why don’t they just keep trying? What’s changed? Is their life any better now? No. In fact, it’s worse, because now they’ve found out here’s…[Read more]

“Most celebrities are afraid someone’s going to attack them. I want someone to attack me.”
— Mike Tyson

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we…[Read more]

“‘Reality’ is just a word, and you shouldn’t use it without quotation marks around it anyway.”
— Joseph Campbell

“Karma is only a bitch if you are.”

“Half of what I say is meaningless; but I say it so that the other half may reach you.”
— Kahlil Gibran

“Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron’s cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without…[Read more]

“People are always saying, ‘What would Jesus do?’ They don’t wanna know so they can do it – they just wanna know so they can tell other people to do it!”
— George Carlin